One of THOSE Days

Have you ever had one of those days? You know, the kind of day where things just don't go right or at least the way you want them to go. A day kind of like this-

I was already dealing with a difficult and emotional situation. As my husband is leaving for work, he wakes me to inform me that we have no water. He would call someone to come find the problem. So, I get up and give thanks (#871 in my gratitude journal) for antibacterial and cleansing face and hand wipes that I had left over from a trip. Finally the person comes to check our pump and informs me that I need an electrician, but they will not be here until after lunch. Well, I decide to head to town because I had errands to run anyway. Lunch turns out pleasant, but when we get in the store- not so pleasant. My little kiddos were more concerned about chasing each other around the store than in obeying their mom. Finally I got what I needed and headed to our vehicle not very happy. I proceed to call my husband to find out the status of the water situation at home when I notice a shopping cart 2 rows over rolling toward my parked vehicle. Thinking I might stop it, I jumped out just in time to watch it plow into the back of my vehicle. Really?? Instead of being thankful that it didn't cause damage, I was fuming. I marched that cart to the return, stomped back to my car, and slammed the door. When I looked back, I was met with the wide, stunned eyes of my kids. Then I realized what a perfectly imperfect mess I really am. 

I have all these blessings surrounding me, and all it takes is no running water at my house, rowdy kids, and a shopping cart to make me "Unglued" as Lysa Terkeurst calls it in her book on "making wise choices in the midst of raw emotions" (which, by the way, I am reading). 

We sat in silence for several minutes. Then I explained to my kids what happened, and I confess that my response was wrong. I apologize, and as a family, we agree to try to help one another.

It is so easy for me to get caught up in what is going on instead of "looking unto Jesus" (Heb. 12:2). This life is so full of struggles and trials, yet in Christ so full of grace and areas to grow in Him. When I am so concerned about a difficult situation that I let simple things throw me over the edge, am I really trusting God in that situation? Probably not! 

In our Sunday school class on the Gospel- shaped marriage our teacher has been talking about how the Gospel changes everything. This past Sunday he was teaching some about the progress of the Gospel. Colossians 2:6-7 caught my attention. " As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving." There it was again- with THANKSGIVING. Yes. Faith and thanksgiving. And yes, thanksgiving even in the trials and struggles and even on one of THOSE days. I have Christ- give thanks. I am covered by His grace- give thanks. I am loved with an unconditional love and forgiven- give thanks.

Oh Lord, please continue to help me make thanksgiving a way of life. Thank you for progress- "imperfect progress". (Lysa Terkeurst says, "Imperfect changes are slow steps of progress wrapped in grace... imperfect progress.") 

#872- God's grace and forgiveness when I mess up.

Falling Apart

1 Peter 5:6-7- "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you."

There is a certain word that just the mention of it causes me to feel like my heart has dropped into my stomach. The word- cancer. Cancer has touched the lives of more of my family and friends than I care to count or mention. It's a diagnosis that causes fear, anxiety, and just the unknown. Now again, I have learned of someone who is very dear to me facing the battle with cancer. 

I would love to be able to tell you that when learning of this, I kept me composure, remembered Bible verses for strength, and prayed. Let me be real though. I needed air (outside, fresh air), so I headed for the door. As I was walking out, my husband asked, "Where are you going?" My response, "To fall apart." So I walked and reminded myself to BREATHE. The tears came, and I heard the door behind me open and close and footsteps. My husband caught up with me and held me as I broke. My words to him, "I just need time to process this, and to be angry, and to deal with this. I hate, Hate, HATE cancer!" Yes, that was my real response. Anger that because of the sinful state of this world we endure so much pain and hurt. Hate that this disease causes so much hardship.

My husband just lovingly held me as the tears flowed and I ranted about someone else I love being diagnosed with this disease I hate. He didn't correct me or tell me my response was wrong. Just responded, "I know." I had my moment. I fell apart, but I did have hope. I have hope because in my weakness, my God makes me strong (2 Corinthians 12:9) He has proved Himself to me so many times. When I fall apart, He graciously puts me back together again. When I feel as though I cannot handle any more, He gives me the strength that I need. I have hope because I have truth that I can cling to despite the trials and struggles of this life. 

As we walked back into the house my husband looked at me and said, "You know, we are blessed." Yes. Blessed. We are blessed. I. am. blessed. Philippians 4:6 came to mind. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." As I got in my bed Friday night, I grabbed my journal and started counting gifts and giving thanks.

# 860 Clean floors and fresh sheets

# 861 Smile on my girls face and her 

thankful heart as she got treated to a pedicure

#862 Opportunity to show kindness to a stranger in need

#863 My husband's loving arms around me 

when my tears flow and my heart is breaking

#864 My gracious God who picks me up and 

puts me back together when I fall apart.

#865 Time

Life Changing

There are several times in my life that I look at as life changing moments. Over the past few months, God has been taking me through a process where I have learned some life changing lessons. Today, I would like to share some of the life changing moments in my life in hopes that you may find encouragement, strength, and hope in some of the books and songs that have helped me grow in my spiritual walk with Christ.

The first real life changing moment in my life was loosing my father to cancer when I was very young. This is a situation that I still learn from today, but as a young girl, I learned that no matter the situation, God is with you and will not leave you. Thankfully, I have a Mom who directed me to take my sadness to Christ and rely on Him for comfort and peace. Through this situation, I also learned some of the goodness and grace of God as He provided me with a Daddy who loves me as his own. My mom gave me a memory book in which she included the words to an old hymn which has become my "go to" song in difficult times. The words to "Whate'er My God Ordains Is Right" have proven to be a comfort to me many times. Sovereign Grace Music has a beautiful arrangement of this song that gets played over and over again in my car. 

Another life changing moment occurred when my family lived in Greenville. I was 11 years old and had just heard a sermon by Mr. Dan Johnson. After the sermon, he took time to talk and pray with me, and I became a child of God. The time in Greenville was a wonderful time of friendships and my life being full of many missionaries and mission-minded Christians. That is something that I think has cultivated the love of missions/ ministry that I have today.

Now, we fast forward through several years. At 19, I went through some trials that God used to grow me in Him. He placed me in the right place at the right time with the right people. I was struggling with relationships and ended up at a Campus Crusade for Christ conference. You see, Debbie Jones and Jackie Kendall had written a book called "Lady in Waiting". Jackie Kendall was one of the speakers at the conference. I got the book, and it's teachings have greatly impacted my life. The book is based on the story of Ruth, and it's all about finding your satisfaction in Jesus Christ - not relationships with others. I have several quotes from this book that I love, but one is, "Anything other than a love relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, regardless of how good that thing may be, will bring discouragement and disillusionment." Even though today I am married with 2 children, I still go back to this book because it focuses on your heart. 

Belize was a life changing adventure for me, but I talked about that in my last post.

When I returned from Belize, my life got busy. I entered the working world as a nurse, I got married, my husband and I worked together to build a house, we had 2 children, and eventually I became a stay at home/ homeschooling mom. We stayed active and busy in the church, but in the fall of 2012, I hit a slump. You see, there are times in my life that I have struggled with depression. This was one of those times, and it was as bad as hit had been. A time where you feel a dark cloud is over you , but you try to put on a happy face when you go out so others don't know your struggles. 

Thankfully, despite falling into my slump- I knew Who to cry out to for help. December was coming, and I have a love/ hate relationship with December. I love December because of Christmas- celebrating the birth of Christ, Christmas decorations and lights, and my birthday. I hate December because my father died on Christmas Eve, and despite the fact that it has been over 20 years, you can bet there will be moments when I revert back to that child who lost her father until my husband graciously points me back to reality. So my thought this past fall was, "If I am depressed now, December is going to be really, really bad." Little did I know that God was working on another life changing moment. 

In November, my mom emailed me a link about doing a Jesse Tree for Advent. She had found the idea and a Jesse Tree Advent Devotional by Ann Voskamp. I had never heard of Ann Voskamp or a Jesse Tree, but I needed this so I dove in. God used this to encourage me and get my mind off of myself and start thinking of and doing things for others. My December was the best one that I have had in quite some time. This was just the beginning though. Little did I know that Ann Voskamp is the author of a New York Times Bestseller. My mom gave me her book "One Thousand Gifts" for Christmas. The encouragement and teachings in this book are LIFE CHANGING. Voskamp encourages you to find joy in living of life of eucharisteo- thanksgiving. Thanking God for the gifts He gives because each moment He gives is a gift. She encourages you to keep a gratitude journal consciously numbering and writing down God's gifts to you each day and thanking God as you write. I can honestly say, it changes your perspective when you actively seek to thank God.  Ann Voskamp is an answer to my prayers as her encouragement speaks directly to my heart. Six months later and 847 gifts written in my journal, I am striving daily to find joy in actively thanking God for His gifts. If you are in need of encouragement from a gracious and compassionate person, please visit the online journal of Ann Voskamp here. 

The purpose of this blog is so we may be encouraged together. Please feel free to share any life changing moments and books, songs, or verses that God has used to encourage you in this walk of life. "The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all, "

2 Corinthians 13: 14.

Remembering Belize

Twelve years ago I had the opportunity to go on a trip that has stayed dear to my heart over all these years. On July 6, 2001, this 20 year old who had been homeschooled, had never been away from home for more than 2 weeks at the time, had never been on an airplane, and who had just graduated from nursing school and passed the NCLEX-RN with no working experience embarked on a 2 month journey that changed my life.

Have you seen the commercial with the little girl saying, "I want more, I want more!" and the statement, "Everyone knows bigger is better"? Well, one thing I learned on that trip is bigger is not always better. Our society tells us that we have to have more to be satisfied, and we feel like we have to be like everyone else in order to be accepted. Twelve years ago, I got to live with a group of people who taught me differently.

My trip was to a village in northern Belize, and my job was to work as a nurse in the medical clinic there. I quickly learned that while the people there may live in block homes or thatched roof huts with no running water, they had huge hearts with so much love for others.

There were families who would work hard during the week; yet, on Saturdays, they would open their home to the village children for a day of VBS.

There were other families who would open their homes for us to come have lunch and make sure that there was bottled soda for us Americans who couldn't drink the well water.There was so much giving from people who didn't have much. What they had they were willing to share and seemed to get so much joy in doing so. 

Not only did these people show great hospitality, but they showed hearts who longed to worship their Creator. The church building may not have been the biggest or the prettiest, but the people who made up the church were beautiful.

I think of the verse in Hebrews chapter 10, verse 25 which says, "not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another..." The people of Patchakan did not forsake meeting together. They had Sunday School and worship on Sunday mornings. They had Sunday evening service, and many times after the service they would have a time of singing praise songs.

 Many times during the week we would be invited to dinner and prayer meetings at friend's homes. There were also many opportunities to just sit around together singing praise songs.

There were times of difficulty during my trip, but God sustained me and taught me so much. There are many times when the hustle and bustle of this American life drag me down that I long for the simplicity of that village life. I long to see those smiles and those expressions of worship as we sat around on quiet evenings and sang praise songs. Sometimes I really think we miss out in America. Our society says that bigger is better and more will satisfy. But in reality, the only way more will satisfy is more of God and more love for others. 

Today, may we each take a few moments away from the hustle and bustle of life to remember our Creator and thank Him. For in thanking Him and worshiping Him and living for Him we truly live a life that is bigger and better than anything we can ever imagine. May you feel blessed through the love of Christ today!

21st

Today I am humbled. I am grateful for the things that God has given me, and it humbles me when I think of those who are in need and suffering right now. I have always had a heart for missions and want to be used by God to help others.

It's the 21st of the month, and as I awoke this morning, my mind immediately went to The A21 Campaign. The A21 Campaign is an organization that works for the abolition of slavery in the 21st century. I thought about the 27 million people around the world who are trapped in slavery. Even in the U.S.- men, women, and children bought and sold for someone else's pleasure. It's easier to brush that thought out of your mind and ignore it. It's heartbreaking to dive deeper, learn the statistics, and hear some of the stories of people who have lived through human trafficking. We can look at the numbers and realize freeing 27 million people is quite the daunting/ impossible task! But when you look at touching one life at a time, it seems a little more doable.

We cannot save the world, but we can change other people's lives by touching one life at a time. If you are interested in ways to get involved please check out 21 ways to get involved. Learn more about The A21 Campaign by clicking here. Shared Hope International is another organization working to eradicate sex trafficking. Wrapped in Freedom is a ministry that sells custom handmade bracelets with a percentage of their sales going to help organizations fight against sex trafficking. I can say from experience, their bracelets are beautiful, and they are wonderful to work with.

It may seem like too much information at the these sights or too much to do. However, if we each can choose a few things, we will touch many lives. For me, education is important. As I became educated with the facts of sex trafficking, my heart of judgement was turned into a heart of compassion for the victims. Prayer is vital for these ministries as well as for those who are entrapped in and rescued from slavery. One thing that has really impacted me is being able to write an encouraging letter to a survivor. Can you imagine how they must feel and what they have to overcome when they are rescued? May those who are rescued be touched with the love of Christ through His followers.

Please pray with me today for those entrapped in slavery, for those working to abolish slavery, and for those rescued from slavery.

DEFEATED

Have you ever felt this way- defeated? You had a vision. You put your energy into making that vision a reality only to meet opposition at every turn. Yet, you overcame each roadblock only to come to another. You come to that last roadblock, and there it is - the feeling of defeat. "This is NOT how it was supposed to turn out!"                                                                                                                   

I have the problem of only seeing the here and now - forgetting what God has done for me in the past and not seeing the good that can come in the future. I like things to happen in my timing and often forget that God's timing is PERFECT! He has proved to me so many times that if I just rest in His timing, knowing He is sovereign- He does more than I could ever ask or imagine.                  

So, I hit that roadblock. I forget about all the good that has come from the energy that I put into that vision. I forget that God is bigger than whatever has made me feel defeated. I begin to question, "Is it really worth it- the hard work, putting yourself out there, the feeling of hurt when it did not turn out how you thought." I begin to think that it's just easier not to care so much- you don't get as hurt that way.                

Then I remember God! He is sovereign, He gave me this passion, and He is bigger than this roadblock. What I think didn't turn out right can be made beautiful IN HIS TIME. When the focus turns to God, I start remembering the good that He has done with my energy, the lessons I learned through the roadblocks, and I can rest knowing His timing is always perfect. 

Lessons From a Mud Run

Several months ago I was asked by my younger brothers to join them in doing a mud run. They wanted it to be a family event. I was intrigued by the thought of doing a mud run, yet it was totally out of my comfort zone. My husband and his family told me I was crazy for even thinking about it. However, I was very honored that my 14, 23, and 24 year old brothers would include me since I have several years on them and two kids. I finally decided that it was worth going out of my comfort zone to have this experience with my brothers.

So the months of training began. Then it was time for the race. The day of the race was cold and rainy. Just what you want to go playing in the mud, right?!

I was a ball of nerves when we got to the race. We checked in and started warming up. As our start time approached, we made our way to the starting line- stretching and jumping around- just trying to stay warm. The air around us was cold, but thankfully the rain had stopped. Finally we were off and running. Our family was there to cheer us on. We crossed the bridge and headed out into the woods for the next 4 miles and 15 obstacles.

Each moment my focus was on the path ahead of me. Taking it one step at a time. One obstacle at a time. Not worrying what was further down the trail. Of course my brothers are a lot faster than me, but my brother Paul had promised to stay with me and help me through the race. He encouraged me the whole time saying, "You can do this," or "You got this, Stacey!" 

As we popped out of the woods for the last few obstacles, our family was there to cheer us on. They would yell out encouragements and advice and cheer when we succeeded. 

As we neared the finish line my focus was on reaching the goal and finishing well. Our last few obstacles were climbing walls, jumping over a fire pit, and getting past the gladiators. To be honest, I don't even remember jumping over the fire pit because I was so focused on getting past those gladiators and crossing the finish line. 

As I have thought back over the mud run, I have thought about running our Christian race. Several verses have come to mind. One passage is Hebrews 12:1-2 which says, "Since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith..." Along the race, we saw muddy jackets, shirts, and gloves that had been left along the trail. Runners had shed that which was holding them back from the finish line. Our sin holds us back as a weight- we are to lay our sins at the cross, looking unto Jesus who is the finisher of our faith. 

As I finished the mud run, I was looking at the finish line. Tackling each obstacle to get me one step closer to my goal. As we run the Christian race, our focus and sight should be set on Jesus.

A verse about encouragement I have thought about is Heb. 10:25, "Let us not give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another." As I ran, Paul was there every step encouraging me. Family and friends were at obstacles cheering us on. Even people alongside us in the race who we didn't even know would encourage us and help us. In our Christian walk, we are to encourage one another and cheer each other on. When someone is there with you cheering for you, it gives you an extra boost, more energy, and the desire to work harder to succeed.

My dad was unable to be in the race due to an injury. However, when I got to the monkey bars covered in mud, he called me over to him. He gave me advice and then proceeded to let me wipe my dirty, grimy hands on his clean pants leg so that I would have a chance to get a grip on that obstacle. Are we willing to get a little messy in order to help those around us get a grip on obstacles in this life? Unfortunately, I have spent too much time looking the other way because I didn't want to get involved. Life can get messy, but I pray that God will help me be willing to reach out my hand to help someone who my be lying face first in the mud. 

I am so grateful for the experience that I had. It was such a special time with my brothers and the rest of my family. You never know what awaits you when you are willing to take that step out of your comfort zone. I never imagined the spiritual illustrations that I would gain from doing a mud run. 

May you be blessed today and may we encourage one another!