My Life the Past Month...Waiting

Nobody wants to hear the words mass, lump, or biopsy; but for someone whose family has been touched by cancer more times than they wish to count, those words can cause crippling fear to creep up your  spine. At a routine doctor's visit a month a and a half ago, my doctor discovered that my thyroid gland was enlarged. Thyroid problems run in my family, so no big deal, right? I was scheduled for a test which revealed a lump on my thyroid gland. Then I was referred to a specialist who sent me for a biopsy. Then waiting, waiting, and more waiting as 7...10...14...16 days go by. As I was waiting, fear kept trying to creep its way into my days. As much as I wanted to handle this situation with grace and faith, some days were a constant struggle.                                                                                              

What do you do in the midst of waiting? I claim to have faith, but how do I maintain trust when faced with a situation that is not ideal? Just being honest, for me some days are a constant battle to focus my eyes on Jesus Christ, but resting in His promises is the only thing that can provide the strength to carry on when situations become difficult. We are given so many promises in the Bible. God knew that life would not be easy when sin entered this world, but our loving God had a plan and has given us so many promises to abide on when things are not easy. 

Here are a few of my favorite promises that give me strength and hope: 

• I will never leave you (Joshua 1:5)

• You are loved with a steadfast love (Isaiah 54:10)

• The Lord is the strength of His people (Psalm 28:8)

• God is faithful (Psalm 36:5)

• ALL things work together for good (Romans 8:28)

I love hearing God's promises in music form also. There are many mornings that hymns and praise music are needed in the start of my day. For me, there is much peace and healing that comes from truth spoken in music. I haven't forgotten the words I read from Ann Voskamp. It is what her mother-in-law told her... "When it is hardest-that is when you sing the loudest. The devil flees at a hymn."So, yes, in the midst of waiting, keep singing. 

We often hear that life is full of ups and downs. My mom has a friend who likens it more to railroad tracks...two parallel lines...there is always good in the midst of bad. And, yes, in the midst of hardship and waiting and uncertainty, there is good and there is always something to be thankful for. Giving thanks changes our perspective. Instead of focusing on our situation, it helps us focus on the One who blesses us with these things we are thankful for. Another quote from Ann Voskamp that I love is, "The answer to anxiety is the adoration of Christ." It may be thanking God for the hummingbird at the bird feeder, or the sunrise over the trees, or an unexpected phone call or text, or a simple piece of toast...whatever the object or truth that compels your thanks, you are acknowledging the Creator, Provider, Sustainer, Redeemer, and Savior. 

We have done nothing to deserve good in our lives; yet, He chose to love us. Every good thing that happens in life is only by God's grace. So, as we wait through the hardships, trust in His promises, sing, and give thanks.

At this point, I have inconclusive biopsy results, and I am waiting for surgery. I am very thankful for God's grace, and my surgeon tells me that no matter what the results are, the treatment is surgery and I am going to be fine. As I continue to wait on my surgery date, I will strive with God's help to battle each day to trust and keep my focus on Jesus Christ, sing, and continue to count gifts and practice gratitude.

God has provided so much love and encouragement to me over the past few weeks, and I am so grateful to each of you who has been a vessel of God to show me how much He loves and cares about me. My prayer is that through my story I point you to Jesus Christ who is my hope and my deliverer. No matter what you face today, call to Him and He will be near you. May each of us find encouragement through His love and promises today.

As the Mountains...

I don't know about you, but sometimes I just need encouragement. These verses bring me encouragement, and I trust today that they will do the same for you.

“Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides forever. As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people, from this time forth and forevermore.” Psalm 125:1-2

What does it mean to trust in the Lord? Our relationship with Jesus Christ begins when He puts a desire in our hearts to seek Him, and we realize that we are sinners in need of a Savior. By His grace, we are able to repent of our sins and live in the forgiveness that is offered through the death and resurrection of Jesus. Our relationship with Christ is a lifelong commitment. By His grace and through His strength, we want to grow in Him and live a life that follows His commands.

Psalm 125 holds promises for those who truly have their faith in Jesus Christ. We can be confident that God will never leave us. Jerusalem was surrounded by mountains that helped serve as protection for the city. We are promised that God surrounds His people just like those mountains surrounded the city and protected it.

 Oh, Lord, thank You that You are with us and will never leave us. Thank You for Your promises. Give us strength as we want to grow in You. Praise You, Father, for your promise of surrounding us with Your protection.

Light is Sweet

The early morning was quiet as I sat in my chair with my Bible propped open on my lap. My thoughts, however, were not so quiet. As I scrolled through facebook before rolling out of bed, the many needs and struggles just overwhelmed me. We live in a world full of pain and struggles. There are young people battling cancer and other illnesses, people struggling in their relationships, financial stress, political unrest and arguing, racial and religious divisions, orphans in need of parents, slaves in need of being rescued, and disasters happening throughout the world.

Even this particular morning, I was headed to take my daughter to her dermatologist for a biopsy of skin lesions that they were concerned about. My anxiety was mounting- yes, I am a worrier and my 11 year old does not handle some medical situations very well! I needed to quiet my own thoughts so that I could help my daughter deal with hers. 

My Bible was opened to Ecclesiastes where I had been reading lately. Now I was in chapter 11. I trudged through the verses. As I had been reading through Ecclesiastes, some of the teachings that had stood out to me were- 1) without God, nothing else matters 2) Nothing except Jesus Christ brings lasting satisfaction 3) God gives purpose to our lives 4) even though life does not always seem fair and we do not always understand things, our sovereign God has a plan. The verses that I was reading were more of the same until I reached verse 7. The words that I read as the sun rose on a new day were, "Light is sweet, and it is pleasant for the eyes to see the sun." On this particular morning those verses resonated in my soul and brought HOPE. It immediately brought me to the verse in John where Jesus says, "I am the light of the world" (John 8:12).

When I get focused on all the hurt and pain of this world, it overwhelms me. So many things are out of my control, and at times I feel crippled by fear and anxiety. When I focus on Jesus Christ, the Light of the world, it puts things in a different perspective. He came to earth to overcome the effects of sin and darkness. He won that victory!

Yes, here on earth we will endure pain and hardships, but we are equipped to handle the things that come our way through Christ. He brought hope and light to a world that was overcome with darkness, and we are given the gift of that hope today.

When we accept the light of Christ in our lives, we too become light (Matt. 5:14) and can offer hope to a world that desperately needs to see the love, light, and hope of Jesus Christ. Just as the sun lights up the horizon at sunrise or shines through the clouds after the rain, may we shine forth the light of Christ to offer hope to our world of darkness and storms. 

Striving After Wind

As I sit reading my Bible this morning, I need encouragement. The past 2 days have been, well, pretty cruddy. As a homeschooling mom, when your kids all of a sudden "forget" all that you have taught them over the past several months, it makes for some long days. When the housework is never ending, the to do list is a mile long, the 30 hours of continuing education you need to complete are barely touched, the plans for the kids 2016-2017 school year need to be figured out, and other responsibilities need to be met, it leaves a mom feeling quite overwhelmed.

So, as I sit reading my Bible, these are the words that come from the pages of Ecclesiastes - "Vanity of vanities! All is vanity. What does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun?" And, "All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full...All things are full of weariness; a man cannot utter it; the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing."

Well, at first look, these words seem quite depressing! "All is vanity (which, by the way, means worthless and futile)...what does a man gain by all the toil..." These words DO NOT seem to give much hope. Even in verse 13 of Ecclesiastes chapter 1, Solomon calls the work that God has given to man "an unhappy business," and later in the chapter equates it to "striving after wind." But, as I read these verses over and over, I begin seeing that there is encouragement to be found here.

On this earth, we are dealing with the effects of sin. When Adam and Eve sinned, the ground was cursed. Genesis 3:19 says, "By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread." So, yes, we have work set before us. The to do lists and the work before us will never fully be satisfied, just like without Christ in my life, I will never fully be satisfied. And that, dear friends, is where I find the hope and encouragement that I need this morning... In Jesus Christ. You see, in Christ, my story doesn't end in worthless and futile work. I have a God who has overcome the effects of sin in my life. I have a God who makes things that are futile and worthless, worthy. I have a God who brings satisfaction to an empty life. I have a God who gives purpose even in the mundane work of this life.

Oh Father, thank you for hope through Jesus Christ. Thank you for satisfaction in Him. Thank you that sin and death was not the end of the story. Thank you for life and purpose even in the everyday toil of this life.

Friends, may you feel God's grace upon your life today. As you go through your work, may you feel purpose through Jesus Christ.

Amazing Grace

As the sun rose this morning, I sat in my chair reading. As my still tired eyes wondered the page of this Scripture passage that I had read many times, new verses came alive. I was reading Ephesians 2:1-10. Most of the time the verses that are focused on in this passage are verses 8-10, "For by grace you have been saved through faith, And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." I have gained much from just those 3 verses, but in not taking the time to focus on the other verses in this passage, I have missed out.

As I started in verses 1 and 2 the words I read were, "And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked." Have you taken God's Word and read it like it is only talking to you? And I was dead in my trespasses and sins. Yes, me. Dead and lifeless in my sin- doing what seemed right to me, following the desires of my flesh, and living in disobedience. Once Adam and Eve sinned, it infected EVERYONE. When we are born, the sin nature is there, and we are unable to change ourselves. We, in our sin, are open to the just wrath of God who is holy and hates sin.

As I sat thinking of the first 3 verses of Ephesians 2, it seems pretty grim. Pretty hopeless. Pretty depressing. Who wants to be considered dead in their sin- lifeless, open to the wrath of God? But we are not left without hope. "BUT GOD, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ- by grace you have been saved" (verses 4-5). Oh, how these verses came to life for me this morning! BUT GOD, through His great mercy and because He loves me. Did you get that? Because He loves me! Even when I was stuck in sin and lifeless, He loved me and made me alive. Yes, made me alive together with Christ. By His grace, I have been saved.

And, guess what! It doesn't end there! We are told in verse 6 that He raised us up and seated us with Him. Why? "so that in the coming ages He might show the immeasurable riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus" (verse 7). Immeasurable means exceeding, too large, extensive, untold, and extreme to measure. God's grace is too vast to imagine, and He wants to show me the vast riches of His grace in kindness through Jesus Christ. Yes, the same Christ who died for my sins and gave me life. Oh, how my heart should sing His praises!

Only by God's grace have I been saved, and by His grace He worked to establish faith in my heart. My salvation is in no way, shape, or form because of anything that I have done. It is an amazing, truly awesome GIFT from my most gracious and loving God. In response to God's great salvation and work in  my life, good works should be present, but they do not earn my salvation. God created me, He made me whole in Jesus Christ, He has a  plan for me, and He has orchestrated things for me to do, "Good works are not the root of our redemption, but they are the necessary fruit" (Gospel Transformation Bible).

Wow, Lord, my mind is blown thinking about your immeasurable grace. Forgive me for taking it for granted and not appreciating it like I should. I am nothing apart from You. I am frail and so many times my faith is so weak. Thank You for loving me despite my ugliness. Thank You for working faith in me so that I can taste the riches of Your grace. Thank you that although there is nothing good in me, there is good in You; and You work some of that good through me. Help me be spiritually wide awake to do the work You have set before me. Oh, Father, thank You for GRACE!

Marvelous grace of our loving Lord. 

Grace that exceeds our sin and our guilt!

Yonder on Calvary's mount outpoured,

There where the blood of the Lamb was spilled.

Grace, grace, God's grace

Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;

Grace, grace, God's grace, 

Grace that is greater than all our sin. 

I pray today that you will be encouraged by focusing on the God who has bestowed upon us this amazing gift of grace because He loves YOU!

My God is Faithful

Sometimes you just have to sit and reflect. Last night and this morning, I have been so overwhelmed with God's mercy and grace in my life that I have had to sit and process. As I think back over the years and look through journal entries, I remember a time of frustration. Frustrated because I love missions, and as a busy homeschooling mom, my time was very limited. Frustrated because every opportunity that I would pursue, the door would close. Frustrated because I began having struggles and doubts in my Christian walk because of situations I was going through.

In April of 2013, my journal entry notes a day of prayer. One topic of prayer was for ministry opportunities. In July of 2013 I wrote, "Each day I am trusting God to help me be spiritually wide awake. Seeing and meeting the needs right where I am." Through the words of Christine Caine in her book Undaunted, God began showing me that my mission field at that moment in my life needed to be my home and my community. Striving to be faithful in the everyday, ordinary life and being satisfied where He had me.

Yes, the desire for serving in other areas of mission work was still very strong, but I began to realize that if God wanted me to be involved in it, He would provide the way. I honestly began praying that if God wanted me to be a part of a ministry, He would drop it in my lap.

In March of 2014, my husband Chris went to a men's supper where Greg Pendarvis with Victory Sports Outreach was the speaker. I knew the name and knew he was related to me, but I had never met him. That supper led to Chris calling me on the way home and telling me, "You need to get in contact with your cousin. You need to be involved in his ministry." I met Greg and his family for the first time in July of 2014 when my kids and I arrived in St. George for our first mission trip with Victory Sports Outreach. And yes, God provided a ministry not only for me to be involved with, but my kids also.

Since that trip a little over a year ago, God has continued to move. Sometimes in ways I didn't understand or like, but always for my good because He is faithful. . He has placed us in a mission-minded church with a strong children's ministry. He has allowed us to serve for a second time with Victory Sports in St. George. He provides opportunities in the everyday and mundane.

As I sit here and reflect on my weekend, my heart is full, and I am thankful. Thankful for the opportunity to serve with my Sunday School class on Saturday night to throw a community event to raise funds for Child Evangelism Fellowship. Thankful to witness a baptism on Sunday and hear my cousin Greg give glory to God for what He is doing through Victory Sports. Thankful to have time with Greg and Mia who have brought so much encouragement to my life in this past year. Thankful for what God is doing in my children's lives. Thankful for what God is doing in my life.

What blows me away in these circumstances in my life is God's faithfulness, mercy, and grace. I don't deserve His love or to be used by Him. By His mercy and grace, He chose to love me despite my lack of love, my unfaithfulness, and yes, sometimes anger towards Him. It is quite humbling to reflect back on how God has answered my prayer. He is always at work. Sometimes we don't understand our circumstances, but God is working to grow us and put us in the place He wants us to be. How amazing to think that He has a plan for each of our lives. I don't know your situation today, but God does. Maybe you have frustrations, hurts, anger. God knows every detail of our lives. He knows the desires of our hearts. He answers prayer, it's not always on the timeline we think, and it's not always in the way that we thought it would be, but He is faithful and full of mercy and grace. I pray you can rest in His faithfulness today.

"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23

Victory in Jesus

"But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 15:57

This morning I sit quietly at my desk, my heart so full from what I have experienced this  past week. For 5 days I have been surrounded by excited children and teenagers who were participating in Victory Sports Camp in St. George. I have to admit, I absolutely loved our bright shirts this week. As I looked out at our bright orange and red "fire" shirts, I couldn't help but think of the light who is Jesus Christ driving out the darkness of sin. John 1:5 says, "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."

Each morning Coach P went over the colors to present Jesus Christ and salvation to the campers. As we dismissed to the separate sports, I loved hearing the excitement in children's voices and seeing the many smiling faces. Mid morning, my heart would swell as I looked out at all the children gathered in circles around their leaders as they had devotions.

My mornings were busy applying band-aids and ice packs. and sometimes just talking and spending time with a child who needed to rest and cool down. I loved every minute of it and was so thankful for no major injuries and God's protection of the campers and leaders.

In the afternoons I was so blessed to be able to help in a new station called GROW. This station gave the children the tools that they need to further grow in their relationship with Jesus Christ. It was such a blessing to hear the children pray with their leaders, help them learn to find passages of Scripture in their new Bibles so they could read it on their own, and hear the leaders share their testimonies with the children as they gave examples of being a witness.

God moved this week. He was present and working in many lives. Seeds were planted, and I am encouraged by God's promise in Philippines 1:6- "And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."

Not only did God work in campers lives, He worked in leaders lives, and He worked in my families lives. I loved when one of the leaders told the children in his group that when God works in their lives and changes them, it also changes the lives of the leaders. It was amazing to see God at work this week- meeting specific needs for my family, actively working in campers and leaders lives, bringing children and teenagers unto Himself, and bringing a community together through the love of Jesus Christ.

My God is an awesome God. My God is Light. My God is Mighty to Save. My God is a Holy God full of Love and Grace. I pray that you know my God. To Him be the Glory!