Perspective

The words and phrases swirl around in my mind- "perspective", "God is sovereign- trust Him", "give thanks always", This is for my good", "love", "in acceptance lieth peace"- these, just to name a few, have served as reminders for me. The past 3 months of my life have been a bit crazy, but maybe that's just how life is sometimes. We embark on this journey with its twist and turns, but as Christians, God is by our side leading and teaching us along the way. From a month of my husband trying to decide between 2 different jobs to that stupid "C" word that I hate so much rearing its head in my family( praise God it was only a minor skin cancer ordeal that my husband has healed from after 2 procedures) to stepping away from a church that I have loved for the past 10 years- faith in Jesus Christ has been vital.

One thing I have learned in life is that we don't always have the answers. We don't always know why things happen, but we do have promises made to us by God who is sovereign and who does know all things. And, I have learned that when life seems upside down, holding onto God's promises and giving thanks in the midst of trials gets us through.

One promise that serves as a life verse for me is Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." This doesn't tell us that life will always be easy, but it does tell us that God is using the circumstances to grow us up in Him- to make us who He would have us be- to prepare us for what He has for us. My New Geneva Study Bible has a note for this verse that says, "God's providence rules in such a way as to ensure everything that happens to us is working for our ultimate good." For me, there is encouragement in that. 

There is also great hope in knowing that my God is always with me. Joshua 1:9 says, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." I am not alone.

How great it is to know that we are loved and cared for also! Loved with an everlasting love. Both Ephesians 2:4-5 and John 3:16 talk of God's love for us in sending His son to make us alive in Him. "How Great the Father's love for us!"

The promises found in God's Word have brought much encouragement in my life over the past couple of months. That doesn't mean that I always responded in the right way. Yes, I have struggled, I have questioned, I have been angry, and I have shed many, many tears. And yes, my blog has been silent for the past 2 months because emotions were too raw to write for public eyes. As I sought counsel from my mom recently, 2 things stuck out. One was perspective. God has blessed my life richly. Was I allowing hiccups in the road to challenge my perspective? Yes. Leaving my church has been huge for me and not feeling "a part" of one right now has been extremely difficult. BUT, I have a loving Heavenly Father, I have wonderful Christian friends, I have a wonderful family, I am NOT persecuted for my faith, my God WILL answer prayer and show us where He wants us to be IN HIS TIME. So, yes, perspective is key in viewing your circumstances. 

The other thing she said to me was a quote from a poem by Amy Carmichael, "For in acceptance lieth peace." How true I have found that over the past couple of weeks. In accepting where I am right now, there is peace in being able to move forward and not holding to the past.

So when challenges come, we have choices. We can be crippled by what is happening or we can hold to God's promises and as hard and imperfect as it may be, give thanks in the midst of trouble. As I closed my journal entry a few weeks ago in my imperfect but making progress kind of way- "I struggle, I question, I sin- but HE is greater and I will trust HIM."

But God!

This morning I sat and reflected over the past week. Last night I talked my hubbies ears off, and today as I have unpacked, washed clothes, and put away dishes, my mind has been replaying how God has answered prayer and moved in the past week. I constantly have to jot things down in my gratitude and prayer journals as reminders because my God is so big, so great, and so faithful; and I am so prone to forget.

My journal entry for Feb. 24, 2014 reflects that was a day I set aside for prayer. One prayer request was for ministry opportunities for my family to be involved in, and I specifically remember praying that God would just drop the right ministry in my lap to be a part of. God had been working in my heart through the words of Christine Caine in her book Undaunted, "Waking up spiritually is not just about participating in life-changing efforts of worldwide importance, such as stopping genocide. It is walking through our lives wide awake. It is rising ready where we are, with what we have. It is seeing people where they are and meeting their need."

Fast forward about a month. Announcements had been made at our church that Greg Pendarvis with Victory Sports Outreach would be coming to a men's supper to speak. I knew that he was a relative of mine, but I didn't really know him and didn't know much about his ministry. My husband Chris was able to attend the supper and speak with Greg. Chris called me as soon as he left the supper and told me I needed to make contact with my cousin because he thought it was a ministry I would like to be a part of. So, after connecting on facebook and phone calls and emails, this past Sunday the kids and I headed to St. George to meet my cousin Greg and his missions team for a week long sports camp and VBS for the children and teenagers of St. George.

Monday was the first day of camp. My kids were going to participate in the camp, and I was to help with first aid in the mornings during sports and with missions in the afternoons. My girl who gets very anxious in crowds was quite overwhelmed, BUT GOD provided the right people in the right places to encourage her. My boy was totally excited and dove right in.

Each morning the Gospel was presented in the opening. Then the children got to participate in their different sports with a break mid-morning for devotions. There was about a 2:1 camper to helper ratio which allowed opportunities for building relationships and provided opportunities for counseling. In the afternoons, the campers participated in VBS which provided more teaching and counseling opportunities as well as chances to build relationships. It was so encouraging to see relationships being built, God working in peoples lives, and people in the community coming together to support this ministry because of what God is doing in others lives because of it.

Last night, after we got home, I pulled each of my children to the side for their own time to share about their week. My girl was smiling as she shared what some of her highlights were from the week. When I asked her if she had been helped spiritually her response was that she had grown in Christ. We talked about how God had put people in the right places to help her with anxiety. She has made a new friend in her cousin Cody who was such a blessing to her this week and such a Godly example. As we talked through everything my girl looked up and smiled as she asked, "We are going back next year, right?" And my response with a heart full of joy, "Yes."

I am so grateful for what God has done in my life, my kids lives as well as in others this past week. I am so thankful for meeting my cousin and his family and for connecting with them this week. Not only did God drop this special ministry in my lap- He blessed me by placing me in my own cousins ministry in my hometown. So, as Cousin Greg would say, "But God!"

"But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." I Corinthians 15:57

To My Children- "Remember who you are."

My Dear Children,
How I wish that I could tell you that we live in a perfect world. How I wish that I could tell you that you won't experience pain. Unfortunately, we live in a world that can be cruel and unfair. People say things that are untrue, friends can be mean, sickness is real, circumstances take you by surprise and don't seem fair, there are times of war, people live in poverty, and children live without parents who love them. We sat daydreaming about things the other day when we were reading through Genesis. What would the world be like without sin? My son, and it was your words, "It would be magical- like a fairy tale."

The truth is, dear children, that we do have hope of that fairy tale, but it may not come in this life. The key is resting in that hope.

You see, I read it in a book. These words, "Remember who you are." And those words have spurred your mom to much thought over the past weeks. There are many things that could define who I am. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend, a nurse, a homeschooler- to name a few. As much as I love you and your dad, and as much as all of this adds meaning to my life, these things are not going to get me my fairy tale. When we define ourselves by others and what we do, we are always left lacking and wanting something more.

BUT, and this is big, dear children, you were made in the image of God. Did you get that? Genesis 1:27 says, "God created man in His own image." It doesn't end there though. Yes, man sinned, and yes, sin and pain and hurt entered our fairy tale world. But God, yes! But God had a plan, a marvelous plan. You see, He loves us more than we can imagine, and He sent His son. His very own son to shed His blood to cover our sins and be the ultimate sacrifice so that we can have life. Yes, on this earth our lives may be speckled with pain and hurt, but we are promised life eternal when we are in Christ. Then there will be no more pain.

So, on this earth, little ones- when you experience pain or see others in pain, or when people talk and you don't have the right clothes or the right education or the right car or enough money or you do the unpopular but right thing- find your identity in Jesus Christ. Rest in His love because you are made in His image. He has a plan that sometimes doesn't make sense, but resting in His love and following Him brings meaning to your life. Your life really starts when you have a love relationship with Jesus Christ.

Lovingly,
Mom

Some Days Just Call for Thanks

Some days you wake up and this thing called life just seems to go rather smoothly. Other days- not so much. The kids have a day or days of constant arguing. Or, you realize that after you clean the bathroom and wash a load of laundry your water is orange again because your treatment system isn't working properly.  Or, it's a hundred degrees on a hot summer day and your car, yet again, decides you need the heater and not the A/C so it automatically starts blasting you with heat. And to top things off you spend 12 hours putting up over 300 ears of corn on a hot summer day, come home exhausted and ready to crash in the bed,  and realize when talking with you husband, you may have some pretty big decisions to make in the near future.

So after maybe pitching a fit over these inconveniences, you realize they are just that- inconveniences. Because so many around the world don't have water to drink or a car to get them from point A to point B, and life changes can be good.

And those days call for giving thanks in the midst of inconvenience and stress.

And singing hymns and praising God

And remembering God's promises

Because He is sovereign, and He knows what I have need of and what is best for me. "For your Father knows what you need before you ask Him." Matt. 6:8

And it really isn't about me, it should all be about Him. 

And yes, it is hard, and I would rather pitch a fit and complain.

But, although seasons change, my God remains the same.

So with David in Psalm 69 verse 30, "I will praise the name of God with song, and shall magnify Him with THANKSGIVING."

Challenge

 Yesterday morning, as I opened my inbox, I was met with a challenge. The physical challenge- no problem. I have been trying to fit back into my summer clothes anyway, so the extra motivation to get out and exercise was nice. 1 mile jog, 50 squats, 30 push-ups, 20 sit-ups- check!

The spiritual challenge took a little more thought and soul searching. The challenge- "Today we are going to continue memorizing Hebrews 12:1-2. We are going to look more personally into the verse and identify and share a sin (or weight) which we have struggled with a long time and it easily entangles us. Something that if it were not in our lives we would be better women, more profitable in our daily walk with God and happier in general."

Hebrews 12:1-2 says, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

I quickly knew the sin/ weight that I struggle with- fear/ worry. For a new RN who got on an airplane at 20 years old to fly to another country and practice medicine with people she didn't know, struggling with fear may seem a bit odd. It's true though. I worry about many, many things: I'm really afraid of heights- like I mean can be strapped in a harness on a 1 story structure and have sweaty palms and heart racing and my kids out do me(working on that though), I worry that the tick on my child is carrying lyme disease, a snake may be in the yard where the kids are playing, about finances, my husbands safety while at work- you name it, I probably have worried about it. I drive my husband crazy with my fears. I constantly have to remind myself that I serve a sovereign God and to take my fears to Him. As I thought about my struggles with fear and worry, I was reminded of a quote from Ann Voskamp, "All worry dethrones God. All worrying says we need to be King because God is incompetent. When the King really rules your world, you don't need to worry." WOW! I remember reading that for the first time and being really convicted of how small my faith really is. As I thought about it, I was stuck with how great of a deal worry and fear are- they DETHRONE God. 

I strive to live a life that is glorifying to my Heavenly Father, but my worry and fear actually dethrone Him. Praise God for the blood of Jesus Christ that paid the price for my sins of worry, fear, and doubt. Yes, I constantly have to ask forgiveness, remind myself that God is sovereign, that He knows what is best, that He loves me more than I can imagine, and that He is capable of doing more than I can ask or think. So with the boy's father in Mark 9, I cry, "Lord I believe, help my unbelief."

BUSY, Busy, busy

It's the end of our school year, and books have been piled high with paper work scattered here, there, and yonder. Add to that baseball and softball four nights a week, home improvements and repairs, and church responsibilities and activities which all make for a very busy two months. For this "everything in its proper place" kind of woman, when I've looked at my papers and books scattered about; sheet rock mud polka dotted walls, and sheet rock dust on EVERYTHING- some days I've thought I might just loose my mind.

I had things planned out. Over lent I was going to take time to read, focus on my relationship with God, and be quiet and reflect. BUT, life gets busy, things don't go as planned, children need extra time and help in school work, and unexpected things come up. Life happens and the book that was supposed to be finished in 40 days still sits only half way finished over two months later.

Lent did not go as I had hoped, Easter didn't go as planned, and the weeks after- well, it has just been crazy busy. But, in the midst of craziness, God has been at work teaching me and molding me. When your desire is to know God more, He will meet you where you are. In the busyness and hustle and bustle, there are opportunities to grow in Christ. It's not always in the quietness and study where our relationship with Christ deepens. Many times our relationship with Christ grows in the unexpected and in the the midst of life. Yes, quiet time is important, but communing with God can happen anywhere, anytime, and in the midst of anything.

Take opportunities that God puts in front of you to grow in Him and encourage others. I am amazed at the times where God has brought encouragement to me or used me to encourage others just in the midst of life.

Even though things have been busy and may not have gone as planned, God had bigger things planned that brought more encouragement than sitting alone reading a book. He used life and answers to prayer to bring encouragement and growth for me and glory unto Himself. He brought a special friend to an aisle in Walmart who needed encouragement and a hug. He allowed a phone call on Easter with a cousin I haven't seen in years to answer prayer and encourage me. He provided encouraging text and messages when I was beginning to doubt ways that I thought I had been led- confirming His leading. He provided opportunities to worship with my extended family and brother at different services and family gatherings.

So, at night on some of these crazy busy days when I may have had just a minute or two to read a verse or listen to the radio as I shuttled kids from place to place or prayed in my mind as I folded laundry the verse would come to mind, "Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10. And as I lay there in the stillness of night, reflecting on my day and how God had met me in the midst of it, I would count gifts and thank God for His blessings in my busy but very blessed life.

The second half of Psalm 46:10 says, "I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
Continuing to count gifts-
1686. Food, fellowship, and music with my family
1687. My risen Savior
1692. Encouraging phone call with my cousin
1693. Encouraging text and emails
1710. Worshiping God at Newspring with family
1728. Praising God together with my church family at the beach
1735. Quiet time
1742. Rest

Ramblings on Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday is coming to a close, and as I awoke this morning, I was still undecided as to whether or not to give up something for lent. Until last year I never really put much thought into the season of lent. The church that I grew up in did not observe lent, so I always thought of lent as a ritual that some churches observed. Through some of my readings and Bible studies last year, I started asking myself, "Am I missing out on something by not observing this period of time called lent?" The answer I got was, "Yes."

I didn't understand lent and still don't fully understand it. All I saw in lent was people giving up something like chocolate or TV, but I didn't understand the reasoning. As I read books, devotions, and sermons, I began to understand that lent is a period of time to really focus on the effects of sin on this world and what Jesus Christ gave up to come to earth to save us from that sin. It is a time of denying ourselves to focus more on Christ, and it is a time of reflection and preparing our hearts for that joyous celebration of Easter.

Last year I chose not to give up one particular thing for lent but to focus more on moderation and purpose. I chose to spend more time in reflecting on Jesus Christ and my relationship with Him. During that time I became more aware of the messy effects that sin has upon my life and what a hold it has on me. I also became more aware of what Christ gave up and what He endured when He came to this earth to save us from sin. Having this time of study and reflection prepared my heart for a joyful celebration of Easter and rejoicing in the triumph of Jesus Christ over sin.

Yes, ultimately this should be our focus year round; however, for me, sometimes it helps to have a period of time set aside as a reminder.So, in our house, our Easter tree is set up, and my daughter led us in our first Easter devotion tonight. The Passion of Jesus Christ and my gratitude journal are sitting on my bedside table. An Easter centerpiece with 7 candles is in the works, and my heart is ready to dive deeper into my relationship with my Savior Jesus Christ. For me, this lent is about relationship and gratitude.

Whether you give something up or not during this season of lent, let's trust Christ to deepen our relationships with Him. If you have special observances, devotions, or books that you use during lent, I'd love to hear them in the comment section below.

May we rejoice in the fullness of God's grace.