Challenge

 Yesterday morning, as I opened my inbox, I was met with a challenge. The physical challenge- no problem. I have been trying to fit back into my summer clothes anyway, so the extra motivation to get out and exercise was nice. 1 mile jog, 50 squats, 30 push-ups, 20 sit-ups- check!

The spiritual challenge took a little more thought and soul searching. The challenge- "Today we are going to continue memorizing Hebrews 12:1-2. We are going to look more personally into the verse and identify and share a sin (or weight) which we have struggled with a long time and it easily entangles us. Something that if it were not in our lives we would be better women, more profitable in our daily walk with God and happier in general."

Hebrews 12:1-2 says, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

I quickly knew the sin/ weight that I struggle with- fear/ worry. For a new RN who got on an airplane at 20 years old to fly to another country and practice medicine with people she didn't know, struggling with fear may seem a bit odd. It's true though. I worry about many, many things: I'm really afraid of heights- like I mean can be strapped in a harness on a 1 story structure and have sweaty palms and heart racing and my kids out do me(working on that though), I worry that the tick on my child is carrying lyme disease, a snake may be in the yard where the kids are playing, about finances, my husbands safety while at work- you name it, I probably have worried about it. I drive my husband crazy with my fears. I constantly have to remind myself that I serve a sovereign God and to take my fears to Him. As I thought about my struggles with fear and worry, I was reminded of a quote from Ann Voskamp, "All worry dethrones God. All worrying says we need to be King because God is incompetent. When the King really rules your world, you don't need to worry." WOW! I remember reading that for the first time and being really convicted of how small my faith really is. As I thought about it, I was stuck with how great of a deal worry and fear are- they DETHRONE God. 

I strive to live a life that is glorifying to my Heavenly Father, but my worry and fear actually dethrone Him. Praise God for the blood of Jesus Christ that paid the price for my sins of worry, fear, and doubt. Yes, I constantly have to ask forgiveness, remind myself that God is sovereign, that He knows what is best, that He loves me more than I can imagine, and that He is capable of doing more than I can ask or think. So with the boy's father in Mark 9, I cry, "Lord I believe, help my unbelief."

BUSY, Busy, busy

It's the end of our school year, and books have been piled high with paper work scattered here, there, and yonder. Add to that baseball and softball four nights a week, home improvements and repairs, and church responsibilities and activities which all make for a very busy two months. For this "everything in its proper place" kind of woman, when I've looked at my papers and books scattered about; sheet rock mud polka dotted walls, and sheet rock dust on EVERYTHING- some days I've thought I might just loose my mind.

I had things planned out. Over lent I was going to take time to read, focus on my relationship with God, and be quiet and reflect. BUT, life gets busy, things don't go as planned, children need extra time and help in school work, and unexpected things come up. Life happens and the book that was supposed to be finished in 40 days still sits only half way finished over two months later.

Lent did not go as I had hoped, Easter didn't go as planned, and the weeks after- well, it has just been crazy busy. But, in the midst of craziness, God has been at work teaching me and molding me. When your desire is to know God more, He will meet you where you are. In the busyness and hustle and bustle, there are opportunities to grow in Christ. It's not always in the quietness and study where our relationship with Christ deepens. Many times our relationship with Christ grows in the unexpected and in the the midst of life. Yes, quiet time is important, but communing with God can happen anywhere, anytime, and in the midst of anything.

Take opportunities that God puts in front of you to grow in Him and encourage others. I am amazed at the times where God has brought encouragement to me or used me to encourage others just in the midst of life.

Even though things have been busy and may not have gone as planned, God had bigger things planned that brought more encouragement than sitting alone reading a book. He used life and answers to prayer to bring encouragement and growth for me and glory unto Himself. He brought a special friend to an aisle in Walmart who needed encouragement and a hug. He allowed a phone call on Easter with a cousin I haven't seen in years to answer prayer and encourage me. He provided encouraging text and messages when I was beginning to doubt ways that I thought I had been led- confirming His leading. He provided opportunities to worship with my extended family and brother at different services and family gatherings.

So, at night on some of these crazy busy days when I may have had just a minute or two to read a verse or listen to the radio as I shuttled kids from place to place or prayed in my mind as I folded laundry the verse would come to mind, "Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10. And as I lay there in the stillness of night, reflecting on my day and how God had met me in the midst of it, I would count gifts and thank God for His blessings in my busy but very blessed life.

The second half of Psalm 46:10 says, "I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
Continuing to count gifts-
1686. Food, fellowship, and music with my family
1687. My risen Savior
1692. Encouraging phone call with my cousin
1693. Encouraging text and emails
1710. Worshiping God at Newspring with family
1728. Praising God together with my church family at the beach
1735. Quiet time
1742. Rest

Ramblings on Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday is coming to a close, and as I awoke this morning, I was still undecided as to whether or not to give up something for lent. Until last year I never really put much thought into the season of lent. The church that I grew up in did not observe lent, so I always thought of lent as a ritual that some churches observed. Through some of my readings and Bible studies last year, I started asking myself, "Am I missing out on something by not observing this period of time called lent?" The answer I got was, "Yes."

I didn't understand lent and still don't fully understand it. All I saw in lent was people giving up something like chocolate or TV, but I didn't understand the reasoning. As I read books, devotions, and sermons, I began to understand that lent is a period of time to really focus on the effects of sin on this world and what Jesus Christ gave up to come to earth to save us from that sin. It is a time of denying ourselves to focus more on Christ, and it is a time of reflection and preparing our hearts for that joyous celebration of Easter.

Last year I chose not to give up one particular thing for lent but to focus more on moderation and purpose. I chose to spend more time in reflecting on Jesus Christ and my relationship with Him. During that time I became more aware of the messy effects that sin has upon my life and what a hold it has on me. I also became more aware of what Christ gave up and what He endured when He came to this earth to save us from sin. Having this time of study and reflection prepared my heart for a joyful celebration of Easter and rejoicing in the triumph of Jesus Christ over sin.

Yes, ultimately this should be our focus year round; however, for me, sometimes it helps to have a period of time set aside as a reminder.So, in our house, our Easter tree is set up, and my daughter led us in our first Easter devotion tonight. The Passion of Jesus Christ and my gratitude journal are sitting on my bedside table. An Easter centerpiece with 7 candles is in the works, and my heart is ready to dive deeper into my relationship with my Savior Jesus Christ. For me, this lent is about relationship and gratitude.

Whether you give something up or not during this season of lent, let's trust Christ to deepen our relationships with Him. If you have special observances, devotions, or books that you use during lent, I'd love to hear them in the comment section below.

May we rejoice in the fullness of God's grace.

A Letter to My Children

To My Precious Children,
You. are. blessed! You have been born into an American middle class family who loves you greatly. You don't know what it is like to go without food or drink. You not only have a bed to sleep on, but you have a room of your own with toys. You have no idea what some children in this world have to endure.

I want to press upon you while you are young that with this blessing comes great challenges and great responsibility. The challenge will be the temptation to fall into our cultural mindset that bigger is better, status is everything, outer beauty is of utmost importance, love yourself, and more will satisfy. I pray that you do not fall for these lies. In actuality, dear children, bigger is not always better. Despite what your status may be, finding your identity in Jesus Christ is everything. Outer beauty fades but inner beauty can grow oh so much deeper when you are grounded in Christ, and that, dear ones, is of utmost importance. Love of yourself is sure to lead to despair, but allowing God's love to shine through you to others will bring joy. And the only way that more will satisfy is more of Jesus Christ. Stand firm, precious ones, on the solid rock of Christ because He will give you the strength when you are challenged.

Your responsibility- when you are entrusted with much- much more will be asked (Luke 12:48). Oh how I pray that I as well as you will be good stewards of the time, talents, and resources that God has entrusted us with. We have Bibles in almost every room of our house- embrace the knowledge and wisdom from God. Most importantly remember Matthew 22:37-40, "Jesus replies, 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments'." Remember, dear children, that Jesus lived a life of love- He did not come to condemn the world but to save it (John 3:17). So, please live a life of love. 

Do not forget that sweet picture of Daniel in Peru that you hung on your wall. Remember the "Thank you's" and the cold hands reaching out to accept hot chocolate. Don't forget the smiles and the joyous laughter of surprised people upon receiving a free cup of coffee or a free meal. 

Remember the letters you wrote to Christians in prison because of their faith. Don't be like your Mama and waste years by reliving the past experiences and wishing for more. Open your eyes to the needs right in front of you. Dare to be different! You have already touched many lives with the love of Christ. Keep letting that love shine through you. That is what matters in this world, and that, dear children, is what will last into eternity. Oh how I pray that our family be one that glorifies God, and I am excited to see the things that He has for us to be involved in. May we live wide awake to the needs around us.

Love you to the moon and back,

Mom

Thanksgiving in February

So, maybe I went a little crazy. This mama's heart was feeling a little desperate, and when we feel desperate, we sometimes try different things. You see, this girl of mine who is full of life and quite spunky, who is beautiful and smart, who has a huge heart of love and compassion, and despite what some may think is really quite sensitive- this precious girl of mine is a  "glass half empty" kinda girl. And, well, this mama- well, she knows what being a "glass half empty" girl can make one feel like.

However, a little over a year ago, this "glass half empty" mama was given a book (One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp) and introduced to counting gifts. So the gratitude journal began. I started looking and writing down God's gifts to me on a daily basis. As I counted gifts, something happened- I had more joy and a changed perspective. Instead of looking at the negative, I started seeing the positive. God knew that this year I would definitely need this counting of gifts to keep my focus on Him to maintain my sanity :)

So this mama has encouraged her girl to start a gratitude journal of her own, but it just hasn't taken. The journal gets put away or covered up, and we forget to count gifts. But, there is this wall. This little wall right there by my kids rooms. This wall right there in my kitchen, by my kids rooms that they have to pass by when they go in or come out of their rooms. So this crazy mama got an idea. Chalkboard Paint! She asked her hubby if she could paint the wall with chalkboard paint, and totally expecting a "NO", he said, "YES." The wall got painted, and chalk was placed in a basket right there on the wall. A verse was written- "Giving Thanks Always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." Ephesians 5:20, and we started counting gifts. Right there on the wall, counting gifts for all to see as a constant reminder to give thanks.

Prayer

I haven't taken seminary classes or gone to Bible school. Nor have I read countless books on prayer, but that being said,  today I just want to share something that God has used to bring encouragement to me.

I think we have probably all heard countless sermons on prayer. Most of us have heard the acronym  for PRAY- Praise, Repent, Ask, and Yield- which I have used when I pray. BUT, have you ever had situations arise in your life that you just didn't know how to pray? You seek God, want to do the right thing and know God' will for your life, but you just don't know the words to pray. That is where I have been recently.

As I sat in church one evening, someone made the comment about many Christians not taking the time to just read through the Bible (Thanks, Joe!) As I thought about that statement, I was convicted that I don't take time to read the Bible like I should. Yes, I do Bible studies and memorize Scripture, but just sitting and reading chapters at a time is  not something that I generally do. So, I decided to start with the book of Matthew, and this is where it gets back to prayer :)

As I started reading Matthew, I got to the Sermon on the Mount and The Lord's Prayer. Most of us know The Lord's Prayer and have prayed/ recited it many times. I must confess, that for me, many times it has been more reciting than actually praying. This time, as I read The Lord's Prayer and the verses surrounding it, it gained new meaning.

Matthew 6:8 says, "Therefore do not be like them, For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him." I know, I may be slow, but I had to read that again- My Father knows what I am in need of BEFORE I even open my mouth to ask. For me, there is great comfort in that verse. And then I read on through The Lord's Prayer:

"Our Father in heaven, 

Hallowed be Your name.

Your kingdom come.

Your will be done

On earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,

As we forgive our debtors.

And do not lead us into temptation,

But deliver us from the evil one.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen."

In few word, it covers everything- praise, God's will, needs, forgiveness, and deliverance. For me there was great relief, peace, and comfort in knowing that I didn't have to know the right words to pray. I can rest knowing that my God is sovereign, and He knows my need before I ask. When I don't know the right words- He gives me the words to pray in Matthew 6:9-13. What an awesome God we serve!

Some days... but God...

Some days the dirty clothes in the laundry room are bursting out the door, the dishes in the sink are piled high, and kids are needy and distracted while trying to do school work. Meanwhile you have continuing education hours that need to be completed, other responsibilities pressing down on you, and are in the middle of a situation that is draining, painful, and emotional. Some days life just seems extremely messy, and oh yeah, how about overwhelming.

It is so easy to get caught up in circumstances and tasks. So easy to get caught trying to do things in our own strength and loose sight of who our strength really comes from. Praise God for His grace though. Over the past few days, God has amazed me with encouraging texts in my devotional and Bible readings.

At these times in life, we have to ask the questions, "Am I going to let the circumstances define me or am I going to be defined in Jesus Christ?" No situation falls on us without God knowing about it. He cares about His people and loves us with an overwhelming love that we cannot comprehend. We may not understand our situation at times, but we can rest knowing that God has a plan. AND this plan is for our good- not for harm.

So, on these days I get up and light a candle because Jesus is the light of the world. I turn on praise music because we are to think on things that are praiseworthy. I read the Word, pray, and count gifts because in counting gifts, despite what your circumstances are and what others are saying about you, your perspective is changed as you realize what you have in Christ.

Philippians 4:6-7, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

Counting God's gifts-
#1408 Beautiful double rainbow
#1409 Reminder of God's promises
#1411 Special friends
#1412 Hugs and encouragement
#1413 Kids school work completed well
#1414 Prayer time with Chris
#1415 Special bonds with friends that make them like family
#1416 Candle light and praise music
#1417 Encouraging words from God's Word and C.H. Spurgeon